When I was a child, my grandfather came to the dinner table with his suit on. We were all expected to use proper manners. (Can you believe it? We had to behave!) You might think that this was stifling for me as a child; it was not. It is a memory I treasure: Enjoying dinner with family and discussing the events of the day was the social networking of the pre-smartphone era.
When we
attach ourselves to our electronic devices at the dinner table, I think we
divorce ourselves from inter-personal relationships and lose precious time with
those we love. These impersonal devices might connect us via social media, but social
media has done nothing to improve our social skills!
Cindy
Post Senning, who writes for emilypost.com puts it this way:
"If you're having dinner with friends and
family, be with them...When I was
asked recently by Sara Rimer of The New York Times, 'What about text messaging at the
dinner table?' it was an easy answer – 'It’s not good manners!'
If your meal is just about nourishment and you are by yourself in the
kitchen, text away. No problem! But if you’re having dinner with friends and
family, be with
them.
As I told Sara, 'The
family meal is a social event, not a food ingestion event.' Even if your phone
is in your lap, the people with you all know what you’re doing when you’re eyes
are focused on your lap. Just because it’s a quiet activity (unlike a phone
call), you’re not fooling anyone. And then everyone’s attention is on the fact
that your attention is on your phone, not on them."
Let yourself enjoy your meal as well as your time with family and friends. Dinner time is not a time for impersonal devices. Look across the table and smile at your child, hold your partner's hand, talk with one another. You might be surprised at how much you enjoy your meals once again. Social media is not a condiment.
Ana Hernandez is the owner of All Spiced Up (www.allspicedup.net)
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ReplyDeleteI have been an advocate of social networking for many years. However, whenever I meet someone for coffee, lunch or dinner I shut off my phone so that I can connect with the person I'm visiting with. When I get home, I put my cell phone on the dresser and try not to touch it till the next day. Ana is right, we need to be here now, in the moment, focused on the people we are with. Leave the social networking to a specific time of day.
ReplyDeleteWhen I take someone to a restaurant I leave my smartphone in the car. I mean do you want to eat or do you want to work? Technology can just be another ball and chain if you let it get the better of you.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that many social media addicts have lost most of their social skills.
ReplyDeleteI believe we will begin to see more studies on the effects caused by desensitization and inability to relate and interconnect on a "human" level that this addiction has contributed to. You are signaling everyone else at the table or trying to have a verbal conversation with you that they are far less important than checking that last text message. If we raised the bar on what it means to be "human" again, perhaps we wouldn't have incidents of people walking into movie theaters and schools and assassinating innocent strangers. If you are not in the "now" where are you?
ReplyDelete